Copyright (c) 2008 Susan Farmer
Oh Man! You get so pissed off you just want to slam something. You think this is it! Or maybe you’re just on your period and you’re mad just because somebody looked at you funny and it made you really, really mad! Well if you’re a woman it can happen. But look here’s the thing, if you are a guy or a woman, child or teenager, the words “I’m sorry!” are the two most powerful words in the human vocabulary.
If you have an argument with your spouse, and you both are rip-roaring mad at each other, take some space, some time to calm down (a few hours maybe) and then take the initiative to go up to your loved one, look into their eyes, and just say “I’m Sorry”. And just like that you can be back on track. Why? There is nothing more powerful than a heart felt “I’m Sorry!” Those two little words can make all the difference in a loving relationship.
If you are a child, don’t be afraid to be the first one to approach your parent and just say sincerely “I’m Sorry”. You might be surprised how fast those two powerful words can earn you a hug! Now you might have to be prepared if your parent says sorry for what? Well that might happen, so be prepared with a few answers. Really think about your situation and what caused the argument in the first place. Remember their are always two sides to every story, yours and theirs. You can always be sorry for your part in it. For example, you might say I’m sorry, Mom for yelling at you and being disrespectful. You might also be asked how you were disrespectful, so be prepared for answers. Perhaps you used foul language or cursed at your mom or dad. That is something to acknowledge and just say, “I’m sorry!” And just like that you can be back on track.
If you are a parent and you know your child is on the wrong track, and you just want to shake him or her, take a minute and think. See, you can still be the parent and say, “I’m sorry” because it is a powerful connector in family relationships. You can sit down with your child and say “I’m sorry you are having a hard time right now with us, your parents, who love you dearly. But see we are the parents and we do make the rules and we do expect you to abide by these family rules. “I’m sorry you and I are not connecting right now because I want that more than anything. And then of course always let your child know how much they are loved. With children, especially teenagers, it might take them some time to get back on track, but using those two powerful words “I’m Sorry” can at least be a conversation opener and heart felt way to reach their hearts.
No matter what situation you are in, work, play, family, commutes or other situations, always try “I’m Sorry first and try to be the peacemaker. You’ll feel good about yourself and sometimes avert bad things happening, just by saying I’m sorry!
Now let me tell you a little story. One time, years and years ago, I left my dear husband in Las Vegas for losing too much money. I just got pissed off and left him high and dry. Well sort of. I called him about every half and hour to an hour as I just kept traveling towards Salt Lake. We fought like cats and dogs that day. So every little town I hit I called him. We didn’t have cell phones back then, so each time I just called the casino, and they just said, “Ron, it’s your wife again!” They got to know him by name. Well, I made it to Provo (about 400 miles north of Las Vegas) that day, and spent the night feeling completely miserable for leaving him. Well, when I took off with our truck, I had also taken off with his medication, which he badly needed. And since he lost all his money he didn’t have a place to sleep or anything to eat. So the next morning, I called him again, and he was, wonderfully, still there, waiting for my call. I said, “I’m sorry!” And he said, “Come and get me” And I did. I left that morning and drove another 400 miles back to Vegas!
And just like that we were back on track. Now, still to this day he’ll bring up that story and say ‘Remember the time you left me in Vegas?” And I’ll say “I know and I’m really really sorry!” And now we can laugh about it. But no matter how many times he brings it up, I always tell him I’m sorry.
And that is one of the most important lessons we can learn about saying I’m sorry. That is, the one you have offended might just bring it up from time to time. But just reassure them! And always say I’m sorry again. Even if you say it 500 times, 5000 times or more. After awhile, you can laugh about it, and it definitely cements your relationship.
They are two of the most bonding words in any relationship!
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Warm Wishes! Susan Farmer