So I just came back from a little 'Internet Vacation', and by internet vacation, I mean, I was harshly, brutally, removed from my precious internet connection, and all the joys and woes that brings me, when my modem went out, And could not be reconnected to the internet, no matter how hard I tried to make it connect. Ugh. I know, I felt sorry for me, too! It was awful, at first, like coming off crack, or something (I'm kidding … who can afford crack cocaine, these days ?? hahahaha!) … I thought I was gonna lose my mind, I was so Frantic about trying to make the modem work, again. Also, I was not completely sure which box was the modem – hahahaha! Everyone makes the happy assumption that since I have these huge websites online, that sure I must know at least the bottom line basics of the computer, but, nope! I do not. Sometimes I think I do, but I always like to have a whole lot of clarification to make sure what I think is right, is in fact in any way correct … is a slight problem for me, as you might well imagine! Haha!

The first two days were definitely the worst … I was going back and forth to my local Time Warner office, to get a new modem, but I have all three things set up through Time Warner .. my phone, my TV cable ( Which I did not want to jeopardize, fer sures, since it turns out I'm waaay more addicted to my favorite Cable TV shows (and I NEED every one of my 1,000 channels – they're important to me, I need to see What all is on that I do not want to watch … but I also love DVR, so when I finally do find my favorite programs, I can tape them all for later … right now, I'm on an I Dream of Jeannie kick, since it's on TVLAND, and is even funnier than I remember it to be … plus, it reminds me of one of my favorite machines in Vegas, the I Dream of Jeannie Slot Machine – so much fun! Next time you're in Vegas, search it out, you'll laugh yourself silly, while singing along to the theme song … I assume you'll be drunk by the time you've been at the casino for the amount of Time it'll take You to find the I Dream of Jeannie machine … I know I always am! Hahaha! I'm just amusing myself, now! Lol!)

But I digress … now that's never happened, before … haha! So the deal was that I have an 'extra' black box that the modem connects to, AND the main phone line connects through the black box, too. I kept telling them that down at the Time Warner office, but it turned out that they kept giving me the wrong modem box, so I would happily take the new modem, bring it home, connect it all up, and be frustrated out of my mind When it would not connect to the internet. I have a big serious problem with high blood pressure, these days (thanks to a terrible job situation, but more on that when I am completely away from that …), and I thought, okay, this is really bad for my stress Levels, so after trying FIVE of the wrong modem boxes from Time Warner, I took a little break. I just could not do it anymore – I thought I would lose my mind, trying to force the modem to work … aaarrrgh! And it turns out, praying did not do a whole lot of good, either … I'm not sure God is connected to the internet (though, He probably is, what with being Omniscient 'n all …! Lol!).

Long story soon shorter, after being offline for the first 5 days, all of a sudden my life felt simpler. Easier. I kind of felt like we were back in pioneer days (and, no, I am not prone to exaggerate, which I have said for at least the millionth time …), but with all the lovely electricity and indoor plumbing, and whatnot … but it was bizarre how disconnected I felt from the whole world. It was good and bad at the same time. Like a regular vacation! Hahaha! (Have you ever been on the vacation, and afterwards, your favorite part was coming home ?? haha! Happens to me all the time!)

It's funny, I did not really realize, before, when the internet worked without question, that I think I might have been completely addicted to the internet. How crazy does that sound? But it was routine for me to check my emails all day long, and after I was disconnected for a while, I realized that I did not have all the ups and downs that are sooo common with checking your email, see who you got an Email from, how good was the email (or more importantly, how hot was it ?? hahahaha!), And on the down side, who did not get you email from, and how disappointing was that? I was on an emotional roller coaster ride, and all because of email !! Aaaand, I had a slight obsession with how many visitors did I have to my sites, and how much money had I made over the course of each day (not much! Boooo !! But one day I believe they will produce a nice income for Me, God Willing! Lol!).

Well, I kept going back and forth, back and forth, to the Time Warner offices (luckily, they're really close to where I live), trying to solve my internet computer connection problem, and most of the employees were really nice ( Albeit, they kept giving me the wrong modem, even when I begged them to please just give me the original one that I had brought in when the problems first started), until we got the largest beeeyotch of them all – she was horrible To me. (Funny thought … would not it be hilarious to think in your head, when you are secretly thinking someone is being horrible to you, that they are being 'whore-able' ?? hahahahaha! Okay, now I like that. .. that will be my new thought to lighten things up for myself when some mean woman is being horrible (ne: 'whore-able' hahahaha! That just makes me laugh! Haha!) To me … and why are women more To be sure to be mean to other women, then all lovely to any man who approaches the counter What ever happened to female solidarity? Sadly, (and luckily for me) it took a man to fix my problems (uh, I think that's happened before) In me life! Hahaha!) …

Time Warner ever sent out some technicians (THREE weeks later .. can you imagine being offline for 3 whole weeks ?? I should get a T-Shirt with "I Survived My Broken Modem" … well, maybe not …) , And it took them over an hour to finally get my computer connected to the internet, again – Thank God !! Was like the skies parted and the sun came out! They were great technicians, and there was no way I would've been able to fix the problem myself. So I guess the motto of this story is: You can not always fix things yourself … or, take a little break from the computer, in case you, too, have become a slave to it, constantly checking your email Whatever it is you looove so much on the internet !! hahahahaha!)

Well, the important thing is, I'm baaack !! Yippee! And I did not miss nearly as much as had imagined I had … is that pathetic ?? Haha! Whatever. Now I am much better at staying away from the computer a bit more, and managing my time online a whole lot better … I am no longer a slave to the computer, and I learned that the world was a apler, and maybe A tad bit happier, when we were not connected to each other, literally, 24/7. Really, that's a fairly new phenomenon, so I'm guessing I'm not the only one out there in Computerland who was addicted to the internet … not in a weird way, but a way that definitely had a hold on my everyday Emotions and activities … who knew? Now I do! Yippee, I've broken out of the Internet yoke! Okay, I've gotta go check my email, see who's written to me since I started writing this … no, I kidding … I'll check it tomorrow … or the next day … we'll See how I feel! Now who's in control, Computer? I think it might be me !! Haha! Maybe soon it will be you, too !! Lol! See you soon, Ailsa xox! (Those are distant hugs and kisses, just so we're both on the same page with that! Hahahahaha!)

Oh, and if you would like to donate to the Redcross to help all the poor folks who are living real disasters, not just mere internet meltdowns, all those people in the mid-west dealing with the aftermath of all those terrible tornadoes, you can Text REDCROSS to 90999 to make a quick $ 10 donation. You know how I feel about raising a lot of money – ask for a little bit from a lot of people, and you'll get a great response, ask for a huge amount form a few people, you'll hardly get any. .. works every time!



Source by Ailsa Forshaw